I ran with the wind and got lost
finding my way home is so far from now
I try to remember your face
your warm smile, and tender embrace but
so fuzzy the sands of time have made your memory
all i have left is the sense of you
many nights I pray to you, hoping you hear me
The faith I carry day to day that I will find you ....
Changes like the weather
tommarrow there is a chance but today
well today I just don't care
I want to be touched, held again
I need to know
all the fondness for my homeland but
never knowing where I came from
leads me to believe more in myself
maybe thats your plan...............

ode to the beast

ahhhh! ahhhh!
feeling this
this pain
to punch to bleed
to feed
i need to
release
to run to
jump to
play to hump
the call of the wild
ahhh ahhh
Feeling me crawl on my skin
to win to sin
where have i been
my body my mind
fustrated from time
I've wasted
the bad I've tasted
To breath
my need
pretending this doesn't hurt
the puppet master with no strings
there are so many things
broken is the hope
hope is the line
the breadcrumb trail
has lead me no where
dispair?
no no
growth
its all just growing pains............

time capsule

One year from now you will read this and not understand a fucking word I am saying.
Internet Jim will respond with, "Why is everything so literal and your pain on your sleeve like a bleeding siv."
Internet Mary will respond, "Wow...you need some help, man. I know you hate citrus, but you don't gotta hate on oranges like that!"

The truth of the matter is, if we must get to the truth...is that time is an illusion.
You can look at this now or ten years from now and your perspective will change.
Like the teraforming of Earth, your in the same location, but somewhere foreign to yourself.

I mean image yourself 2000 years back....entire civilizations were in an existence, yet now extinct. Everything would be foreign...Remember the dream where your were at "fill-in-the-blank's" house, but you weren't. Well...you're there...you've always been there. Like Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

I leave you with this. If you had one thing to place in a time capsule to actually stand the test of time (see Mark Twain), what would it be? I'll answer this for me now... It will the fact those those who loved me (and didn't), would respect my approach to life, how I treated others in reality, not in words only and that I at least brought something new to the same old conversation. Perspective, in this moment, seems to be what I would leave in the time capsule.

hot off the presses

too hot for the common eye to see
me in all my glory, sweat pours from every pore
I think and write
I breath i think
I think the right of way is to the glory hole of life
smelling your way to heaven and pretending you've made it
is bull shit and the only true right of way is to be a pedestrian.